My first birthday as a Mom

I enjoy holding on to little Rei's tiny hands. Her reflex action would automatically curl around my finger tightly.

Suddenly realised again that she is gonna grow very fast from newborn to toddler. Even in one month, she is gonna be so different! I have to enjoy her every stage even when right now she needs more care.

I have started relying more on formula milk because she seems like not having enough to drink sometimes. Also my right breast I guess is in trauma! It's painful to be latched on. Frankly I actually feel relief there is formula milk. It gives me more time to rest. Though at first I really felt like a failure for not being able to provide her fully breast milk. But thanks to Amy and the community in What to Expect for their assurance and encouragement, I feel better. Truly you need a support group when being a mother.

I feel I still cannot handle Rei without my mum. I'm truly not a natural at taking care of babies. I also feel tired. Lol. I haven't taken a bath for Rei till now. Usually I felt so exhausted also. I think breastfeeding really takes a toll on a person. You spend so much time feeding. Your body aches. I also feel dizzy and sleepy. I can't do much with all these feelings especially to feed myself. Mostly mum feeds me.

I celebrated my 29th birthday for the first time as a mum. With little Rei. Last year, I would never have thought I would. Such a surreal feeling. Weirdly, I don't feel as much for my birthday compared to her one month celebration, or her coming one year old birthday. More focus is on her right now.

Little Rei really drinks a lot. When she is hungry, she would sometimes stuff her hands into her mouth to soothe herself. It looks so endearing yet heartbreaking too. Like okay okay.. drink all the milk you want baby!! Mum was the one who taught her to stuff hand into mouth to soothe XD. Taught her once and she remembers to use till now. She is not supposed to know how to do this yet actually XD quick learner indeed!

Mum burping Rei in the middle of the night after a feed

After breastfeeding, milk drunk.

Love it when she smiles, eventhough it might just be a reflex action

Another night of burping session after midnight feed

Pho Pho Car and Rei's

Blowing bubble when sleeping